Stephen Wilson Jr. was a scientist working for Mars, Inc. (Yeah, the Sweet firm).
In the future, his boss pulled him into an workplace and stated one thing that modified his life:
“Stephen, you’re about to get promoted.”
Usually a trigger for celebration, this was as an alternative meant as a warning by his boss.
In a previous life, Stephen had been a guitarist in a small indie rock band. He additionally spent his evenings writing songs.
His boss knew Stephen was a rattling good songwriter, and the place he actually belonged.
He instructed Stephen in regards to the golden handcuffs:
“You’re in line for a promotion they usually’re grooming you for the subsequent stage.
And also you’re type of at a crossroads.
As a result of in case you take [the promotion], like I took it 30 years in the past, your desires of being a songwriter, they’re gonna be gone. That is going to eat each little bit of you.
Proper now you’ll be able to write songs and do that job, however 6 months from now I’m unsure you’re gonna be capable to. So I simply wish to provide you with a warning.”
That tiny voice in Stephen’s head, that had been there for years and years, began to get louder.
6 weeks later, with that internal voice now at a deafening quantity, he put in his 2 weeks discover, which confused everybody (besides his boss and his spouse).
He began bartending and ready tables to make ends meet whereas honing his craft, attempting to get publishing offers in nation music…whereas getting rejected for not writing “bro nation” songs:
He was instructed, “you write REAL songs. We are able to’t do nuthin’ with that…”
Years later, after some modest success writing songs for different musicians, he lastly labored up the braveness and expertise and clout to start out recording his personal songs.
And final yr, he lastly put out his debut album, Son of Dad, which Rolling Stone referred to as probably the greatest albums of 2023.
Lately, Stephen put out a jaw-dropping cowl of Ben E. King’s “Stand By Me,” which I’ve listened to roughly 10,000 instances over the previous month.
(Significantly, please watch this video. It’ll provide you with goosebumps!).
Golden Handcuffs vs Uncomfortable Growth
From 2008-2010, I additionally lived a twin life.
I had my day job at Sixthman, serving to promote and produce floating music festivals. However I additionally spent my nights and weekends engaged on somewhat web site serving to nerds get match.
My boss April and my mentor Andy (who owned the enterprise) each knew the place my coronary heart was; they inspired me to chase the uncomfortable way forward for attempting to make Nerd Health into my profession.
16 years later, we’re nonetheless going robust!
In Oliver Burkeman’s 4 Thousand Weeks, he encourages us to ask a selected query when making choices in life:
“The place in your life or your work are you presently pursuing consolation, when what’s referred to as for is somewhat discomfort?”
Asking ourselves “what would make me happiest” will almost certainly lead us in the direction of the quick time period, comfy, protected possibility.
As an alternative, we must be pondering which path will make us GROW as an individual, or which model will trigger us to SHRINK every week. We most likely, deep down inside, know the reply to the query, if we’ve got the braveness to ask it.
Burkeman’s recommendation:
“Select uncomfortable enlargement over comfy diminishment at any time when you’ll be able to.”
Yep, typically chasing “uncomfortable enlargement” doesn’t lead to a songwriting deal, or a profitable enterprise. I’ve chosen the uncomfortable path and typically issues don’t work out. However that’s a part of the method, and at the least it removes the potential for unhealthy remorse!
Which brings me to immediately’s mission.
Let’s get comfy with being uncomfortable
Let’s chase uncomfortable growth in 2025.
- After we energy practice, we power our muscular tissues to get uncomfortable by lifting heavier and heavier weight – they reply by rising and adapting.
- If we use meals as a coping mechanism after we’re unhappy or indignant or bored, addressing our relationship with meals could be uncomfortable.
- When we’ve got uncomfortable conversations, we will lastly deepen {our relationships} or rise up for the issues which can be essential to us.
In 2025, let’s ask the query:
The place in your life are you snugly dwelling in consolation and security, when deep down you recognize the trail of “uncomfortable enlargement” is what you actually need to develop and aid you get what you really need?
You may not have to give up your job instantly, or go all-in on a brand new objective or change…
But it surely may very well be value asking your self that uncomfortable query.
Life is difficult, and alter is more durable.
Uncomfortable.
Scary.
Messy.
However in case you’re prepared to say NO to consolation, it is perhaps precisely what you want.
-Steve
PS: We’re doing a free 5-day workshop for individuals who need to construct new habits that truly stick in 2025, it begins in a couple of days!
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